ODE TO THE TREE CLIMBERS

There are stories of humanity’s triumphs everywhere. This one… Ode to the Tree Climbers.

John Audretsch is one of my “surviving” classmates from Detroit Catholic Central High School… class of 1961. His survival and long life were not givens. John spent much of his life as a Tree Climber in Northern Michigan, going to work each day… fully aware of his shortened “life expectancy.”

My 56-year-old son, Frederick Valentine Lauck, followed John Audretsch and me by 27 years… graduating from Detroit Catholic Central in 1988. Then, a couple College degrees later and a five-year teaching career, Val (as he is called by the family) started his own, Tree Climbing business… in memory of his lumberjack, Great Uncle, 17-year-old, Sherwood Montroy, killed on the job in the Minnesota logging camps in 1918.

Like John Audretsch, Val follows the Tree Trial throughout Michigan, sometimes to my C.C. classmate Tony Mooter’s, four-story Mansion on the Hill, overlooking Cass Lake. Tony has the tallest trees on the lake. But, the only tree the wealthy “Godfather,” Tony Mooter, climbs these days are the wooden ladders that lead up to his wooden-tower, bunk bed that he ascends each night, lies down his body to sleep, asks God his soul to keep… and puts up the guard rails to keep him from rolling over and out. Kaboom !!!

Frederick Valentine, Laucked In & Roped Up

Frederick Valentine’s Bird’s Eye View 2026

Tree Ace… Fighting Trees Older Than He Is

Tree Climbing is…

More arduous than any of the four sports I played.

Not for the faint of heart,
Not for the weak of limb (human limbs trying to conquer tree limbs… that will, unexpectedly, snap back and knock off of the tree). And, certainly,
Not for those who fear heights and would come undone as they swing through arcs of thin Air and Sun… 60 feet up in the branches. “Hey, what’s happenin’ ???… My man, Tarzan.”

John Audretsch and Val both know the “life and death” dangers of “what’s happinin” in the trees. Sling the safety ropes up into the trees, chase after ‘em and tie the “right” knots (HOPE they hold). Strap on the 20 pound, power saw. (HOPE it cuts tree limbs and not human limbs). Climb the Climb. (HOPE the tree limbs are not rotted out, nor giving way). Then Swing the Swing from limb to limb, without a tightrope-walker net … pulling the start cord on the chainsaw again and again (HOPE it starts)… all the while hanging in midair, cultivating a lifetime of Adrenaline Surge, Post Traumatic Arthritis and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. What nightmares must a Tree Climber’s Rapid Eye Movement weave when they take leave… of their consciousness ???

As C.C. classmate, Veterinarian, Dr. Michael Rector, would say, “Call the Fire Department and get that ‘Cat’ Audretsch out of the trees.” As C.C. Electrician, Frank Demers, would say, “Oh yeah, those Tree Climbers… ‘Bad Asses’ one and all. As the Irish would say, God save the Tree Climbers and the rest of us… all of us living on the edge, in the unpredictable heights of life… in the Wuthering Winds of Winter, the Withering Heat of Summer and with the tenuous whims of Hope, the vagaries of Trust and the Power of Prayer. “God save us all” !!!

Now, after a lifetime of overcoming the daily fear, the unremitting exhaustion, the extreme cardio-vascular challenges, the emotional intensity, the adrenalin surges (“Timber” !!! But, don’t hit the power lines, the surrounding homes or the children at play in the neighborhood below). Oh, the emotional and physical pain of it all. The aching joints, the “on the job” arthritic changes, a broken bone or two, a pulled muscle or two, a worn out, frayed tendon or two and some “near-death” misses in between (all the better to chronicle in their memoir of memories) as their bodies precipitously age before their time. But, after a lifetime of overcoming “do” and “dare” obstacles, the Tree Climbers who have survived to old age leave the driving to Uber… a step above a Greyhound Bus (The Hound that broke down in Memphis Town… vocalist Chuck Berry).

But, eventually, all that goes up, must come down. And, eventually, all Tree Climbers must come home from the trees, call it a day and, eventually, call it a career. So it is for John Audretsch. He’s paid his dues. Now, he is afforded the luxury of kicking it back and calling an Uber for a quick jaunt from Northern Michigan to Detroit’s Ford Field. Recently, John Audretsch did just that… kicked back, Ubered down the freeway and took in the sights… all the way from northern Michigan to Ford Field for the 2025 Class A, State Championship, football game– between the winner, Detroit Catholic Central, and the vanquished favorite, (Mama) Cass Tech, who lost grip of that precarious (gridiron) limb and plummeted all the way down to the ground for a not too soft landing. Or, as Pontiac Central (and MSU) football star, Charlie Brown, use to say back in the day, after knocking an opposing player off their feet, “You just got knocked down by Charlie C. Brown” (as in Charles Calhoun Brown).

Thank you, Mr. Uber Man, for taking care of my, lifelong friend, Johnny Audtresch, C.C.’s Tree Climbing Man. Nice trip, eh John ??? Leaving the driving to Uber and not having to worry about Cop’s playing games with their overhead, flashing lights or their roadside sobriety tests. You earned that small luxury, John. “You da Man,” John Audretsch. And, “You da Man” Frederick Valentine Lauck… Tree Trimmers Extraordinaire and men in need of an occasional prayer.

John Audretsch & Friends… November 2025. Ford Field. Go C.C.

As they shouted from the trees in Audretsch’s and Valentine’s St. Gemma neighborhood (back in the day) “Forrrrre” !!! “The Tree Climbers are in Town and they’re playing through.”

But, then again, aren’t we all ???… Just playing through.

C.C. 1961

A kid who listened to his, tough Irish Mother, “Stay out of that tree, Kid.”